Regrets - Everyone has them...

Regret is a funny term - one that people often associate with something bad or shameful -but what if you just regret some choices you made that taught you a valuable lesson. Is that something to be ashamed of or proud of? Check out my take on the whole issue.....

Proud of it

As the cliché goes, never live with regrets – too bad I can't say that with a straight face. Despite the nature of a regret, overall regrets have a bad rap, so much so that the mention of regrets makes people immediately jump on the rant about how you cant have regrets because the choices you made make you the person you are, blah blah blah. There is an element of shame that goes with regrets as well; it's usually a feeling you can only identify in the solitude of the shower or the comfort of a therapist’s chair. Well I am coming out the closet and screaming loud and proud, I have many regrets and I am not ashamed of it!

My new found pride in regrets may confuse some but hear me out. I regret many things in my short life (yes 27 years isn't that long). I regret the hair choice at the prom – while it seemed hot at the time – pictures last a lifetime and that up do was such a bad idea. Combined with the red lipstick…it was a disaster! I proudly regret the purchase of blue leggings with white stars on them that I planned to wear one fourth of July in the late nineties to show my patriotic spirit (my sister heckled me beyond belief, I must thank her for that!!) And my regrets continue, I regret purchasing the album Forever by Puff Daddy, Diddy, P.Diddy (whatever you call him). That had to the be the worst piece of trash ever – to this day I know if I see Puffy, I am asking for my $9.98 back! I regret a few friends I made in Jamaica High School – some of those chicks where just bad influences! I also regret many later hair choices, outfits picks and selections of shoes that my feet are probably still paying for.

But the regrets that stick out the most are a tad bit deeper. I regret never crying in front of my mother while she was sick – ill never know if she took that to mean I was strong or I didn't care (that still haunts me to this day). I regret never telling my grandmother that I was sorry for how much my cousins and I used to drive her crazy, while we weren't horrible, there were times when I could just see in her eyes we were just getting on her damn nerves!! I regret being a bitch to my family and friends when they were trying to help me through a rough time (I didn't know how to handle it). I regret not telling a man I was in love with him simply because I was afraid of what he would or would not say back (Im sure it would have helped the situation if he knew). I regret not spending enough time with my Aunt Goldie – she loved me and my sister like no other, she always understood we were busy– but I would give anything to spend one more Saturday afternoon running her errands.

You see these regrets are real – they are truly things that I wish I would have done differently. So to say I don't have any regrets is a false statement. Furthermore, the reason I am proud of these regrets is simply because they taught me the most valuable lessons about life.

Live in the present, totally embrace the present in all its glory and trials.
Make decisions in the present so that in the future you don't have to look back on regrets. And if you have regrets, take the lesson from them – make changes in the future so that you limit the moments of reflection you aren't so proud of.

Of course there will still be moments of bad hair, terrible dresses and awful lipstick – but at least you can be sure that even in those moments, you said all the I love you's your mouth could speak, told the truth even when it hurt and said sorry when you knew you were wrong. You see life has a funny way of ending when we aren't quite ready for it to be over – leaving those who are still living with plenty of regrets. Don't let people go without knowing how you feel, good or bad. Cause those regrets sting way deeper than a few bad cd choices and bad hair – those are the regrets that hurt the most and teach the lesson the hardest. Be proud of your regrets, embrace those mistakes and own them, so your present will lead to a future free from regrets!