Dear Cancer - I HATE YOU!

Dear Cancer,

I hate you. Yes I know, hate is a strong word but it actually isn’t strong enough to describe the way I feel about you. You see you are the worst kind. You are a sneaky, subtle, thief. You steal life from people. You steal mothers, fathers, daughters and sons, etc. And unlike the other things on earth that take life, you suck the life out of families long before the death occurs. I have never witnessed anything more devastating than watching cancer eat away at the physical of a human being. All the while, doctors are trying to give hope. People are trying to give hope and cancer is laughing in your face. Simply because before cancer kills anyone, it must drag them and their family through an emotional turmoil filled with the high of hope and the low of despair. Cancer is unique and sadistic in that way. Ask anyone who has been through this, there is ALWAYS a moment when someone says it will be ok and another moment when that same person usually comes back hat in hand to say, there is nothing else that can be done. To this day the worst day of my life was the day the doctors said there was nothing else they could do for my mother. Because when doctors quit, there really is nothing else to be done. These same doctors were hopeful just weeks before. Yea cancer you are a sneaky bitch.

And the bravery it takes to try to beat this bitch is something else. The only thing to fight cancer is poison. If you want to beat cancer, you must agree to let a doctor put POISON in your veins. This kills you along the way too. So if the cancer doesn’t get you, the “cure” will make you so vulnerable that a common cold could take you out. Oh cancer I really hate you. And while the origin of our beef is the 7 months it took you to steal my mother that is not the only reason I hate you. You have stolen so many mothers besides mine. Yet as if stealing my mother wasn’t enough, cancer you have decided to haunt my life. Because of the slick nature of your attack, I live in constant fear that you will strike again. I worry constantly that the ease for which you stole my mother will be replicated on someone else I love. Even worse, every lump, every breast exam, every pap smear, every unexplained pain has me worried that you are ready to come steal me. See cancer you are some type of mind scrambler. I live in constant fear because of you. I watched what you did to my mother first hand. I am afraid for anyone else to go through that. I truly hate you cancer. For you not only destroy the life of the patient and the family while you are present, you forever torment the lives of your victims far beyond the death of their loved ones. When I hear someone has cancer, I panic. It’s an internal panic that most people don’t see, but inside I am freaking out. I know what that word means. I can’t sleep because of worry. And I have trouble believing that anyone will be ok after your name is mentioned. You are the lowest of the low cancer and I will forever hate you. For you stole more from me than my mother, you stole my peace of mind.

Signed,
Me

R.I.P to all who lost their battle with cancer. Blessing and prayers to those who are still fighting!