Society perpetuates an idea that every person who isn’t in a committed relationship or married suffers from some level of loneliness during the holidays. That depressive state is further compounded if said individual is without children. Between the jewelry commercials that equate the Christmas to love and the car commercials that equate Christmas to love (and getting a new car), one could believe such a notion. For some, this may be true. The end of year holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve, can be holidays that highlight ones single status therefore making it difficult for some to get through those holidays without a sincere sense of loneliness. But is that loneliness because they are a party of one or something much deeper?
I know many of people who are in relationships who experience loneliness. I recall plenty of holidays and special occasions where loneliness overwhelmed me even when I was a party of two. The deepest and most excruciating loneliness I have ever experienced came not from the absence of a lover but from the absence of people I loved. For me the holidays have always been about family and even when I was a party of two, it didn’t make me feel any better about not having my mother on Christmas morning. On my birthday, I look forward to spending time with the people I love most in the world. Some years that group of people included a significant other, some years it did not. Never changed what I looked forward to, just the makeup of the group.
The holidays are prime time for other people to inundate you with their ideas about what your life should be like. Not because the smell of pine and the sounds of holiday music makes them go crazy, but because you are forced to see them for an extended period of time twice within a five week period. They have waiting all year to push their dogma on you, no wonder it feels like a lot. If you aren’t confident in your choices and in yourself, you will accept their beliefs as your own and internalize their judgments of you and your singlehood. Being single isn’t a disease and being in a relationship isn’t a cure. They are simply statuses at any given moment, subject to change at any time. The holidays come every year whether you are single or not. And the love received and shared should be the same every year because you are surrounding yourself with family and friends who provide that. Becoming a party of two will just add to the joy (and add to the list of gifts to buy), but it is in no way the only way to be happy during the holidays. The holidays are about cherishing your loved ones, not pining over 1 loved one you don’t have.
No comments:
Post a Comment