I have been called many things in my life, most of it to my face. So being called a prude doesn’t necessarily bother me. A prude, by definition, is a person who is excessively or sanctimoniously attentive to propriety or decorum or extremely modest. I will take that one; I can surely be that way at times. But most often when this label is slapped viscously upon my chest, it has a negative connotation and is usually in regards to sex.
I must say, I don’t recall ever being called a prude by someone I actually had an in depth sexual relationship with. That being said, I am totally not the girl who exudes sex in everything I do and say nor is sex the first thing people think of when they think about me (and I am happy about that). So no, I don’t really like discussing sex in mixed company, at least when we are talking about sex that I am having. And no, I would prefer not to discuss the intimate details of your sex life with you, especially when it comes to the ins and outs (pun totally intended). But I don’t think that makes me a prude. But when this topic really comes up the most is when discussing a variety of sexual acts, mainly anal sex. Yes, I said it, anal sex.
So in true prude fashion it is paining my fingers to type about such a topic for mass public consumption. I swear by the rule of keeping this kind of talk between those who are actually performing the acts, together. This allows you to negotiate the terms of your sex life with the only other person who it matters to, the person you are getting it popping with. But hell, everyone is discussing it over brunch and cocktails so I figured, what’s the difference? My position on anal sex comes from the same place that most of my opinions are born, how well said subject works for me. So when I cringe at the discussions of anal sex I always get told the same thing “don’t knock it until you try it.” Which always generates the same response from me, “not knocking it, just don’t want to try it” (that never usually goes over well in a pro anal sex crowd). In reality, I am not knocking it for them, just saying that for me, it’s not something I’m interested in at the time (usually followed up with another, don’t knock it blah blah, blah).
For some reason, when it comes to all forms of sex especially the ones that go beyond just intercourse, there is campaign amongst friends who have tried said act, to bring you over to the other side. Almost as if they have decided that it is criminal for you to miss out on said act and will do whatever they can to convince you to try it. This never has anything to do with how much they actually think you may enjoy the act. And given your protest, they clearly know YOU don’t think you will enjoy it (or else you would be trying away). This is really about being down with the group and not being the one who hasn’t done it (for fear of looking like a prude).
Now I know this sounds a lot like high school when peer pressure was running wild, but honestly, we haven’t grown much from then. It’s just that before your friends pressured you to lose your virginity, now they are pressuring you to lose a “virginity” of a different kind. I know, I know – “don’t knock it until you try it.” Why don’t we get away from the idea that not trying it is somehow knocking it? In grown up world we have many other things to discuss over brunch. And what you prefer in the bedroom doesn’t need to go with my syrup. But keep in mind that is coming from a prude.
Thoughts?
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