September is here. I love this month for the transition. If you think about it, ever since you can remember, your life has been marked by transition in September. Between the weather and school, we have been trained to begin a change in the month of September. I love that change.
This also leaves me with 3 months left in 2010, hence 3 months left in my twenties and 3 months left until my birthday party! All pretty exciting events for me.
The party planning is going well. I wont bore everyone with these party updates, so just those who follow my blog will be up on the details of the party planning (lucky you ;-) ).
As I mentioned in the previous party planning blog, there is a reason that this party celebration means so much to me. Not just the birthday as a milestone, but my strong desire to celebrate it in a big way. It is directly tied to how I felt the morning I woke up on my 20th birthday. I felt as close to what I can imagine being dead felt. My heart was broken in such a way that words cant express. I felt sick. I looked out the window, there was snow everywhere. I cried. It was 6am. I cried. It was 10am. I cried. It was noon. I have never felt so emotionally broken in my life and I have never cried so much on my birthday. I wasn't happy I was born. I wanted to be dead, so I could be with my mother. She was the only person who made me feel like December 30th was the most important day in the year. It was my first birthday without her and I realized that every birthday from then on would be without her. It was heartbreaking.
This birthday is important for me to celebrate because I wasn't sure my heart was going to make it to this birthday in tact. Therefore I must celebrate...BIG.
Stay tuned....
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