First there was a Sex and the City episode, then a book and now a forthcoming movie which discusses a single woman’s worst nightmare, "he is just not that into you." Now let's get a few things clear off top, if you are not into him, it never matters if he is into you. Second, I am a firm believer that in about 80% of situations it is VERY clear when a man is "not into you"; no book, show or movie necessary. Lastly, men and women communicate differently which, in my opinion, is why the term mixed signals is so popular in the dating world.
So by now you are probably wondering what this whole blog about. Well let's get to it. If you have not read the book or watched the episode of SATC, you are probably a bit lost. Quick synopsis, a man who is a writer wrote a book (and co wrote the episode) detailing all the things men do in dating or relationship situations to show women that they are "just not that into them". He simplifies men to the most basic levels, and eliminates all theories women have about why a man’s actions may not correspond with what he is saying or not saying. Some of the things he listed include the obvious (or maybe not always obvious) reasons like, he isn't calling you, he isn’t dating you, he is married (or otherwise committed in a relationship), he only calls you when he is drunk and he only sees you for sex. All these are supposed to be signs that he isn't into you. I won't debate those at all. Some of the others like, he is not into you if he is not in a relationship with you, having sex with you, or telling you how he feels – leave a little room for questions in my head.
With those questions in hand, I want to hear from men (since they know the most about men) to find out how they feel about those statements. Does the fact that you (men) are not in a relationship or having sex with a woman mean you are not into her? I also want to hear from my ladies, come on ladies – I need to know from you how you feel about when a man does any of these things. My major question is this, are women just eternal optimist/delusional when it comes to reading the actions of men? Or does a man, as this book/movie/TV show states, give clear and precise signs to show that he is just not that into you?
1 comment:
Women Stop it!!!!! Instead of interpreting our actions take things for what they are. One thing doesn't always mean the next. If a man doesn't call doesn't mean he isn't in to you... it could mean he is watching his minutes on his cell phone plan--- Or it could mean he is a writer and he prefers to text you-- What ever the reason... stop thinking men are always lying attempting to trick you into believing he is into you when he really isn't.
Do you realize most women are so desperate leaving a "do you like me letter" at out desks everyday because of one crucial fact they are "just not into themselves. Women intricately know that if anyone made false speculations to them they'd clown the "interested lad" around town-- Killing the poor mans rap.
Back to subject-- Women get into yourselves. Love you and stop there. Remember this-- Love is like a bank. The next time you decide to LOVE somebody remember that. You need to always deposit your love in this bank and expect the same from your partner. So, when the time comes when u most need love you don't go to an empty bank or to your partner for your deficits. You can withdraw your own love. Get what you already have. It works. It allows us to love our partners for who and what they are and when we feel needy we can stop depending someone else to complete it... but we can learn to mend ourseleves.....
Chapter 1
I was walking down the street and there was a hole in the middle of the block. I fell in. It was cold and dark. I was scared. I couldn't get out. I felt helpless.
Chapter 2
I was walking down the same street and there was the same hole in the middle of the block. I fell in again. Again, It felt cold and dark. I was scared but I remembered how to get out. I still felt helpless.
Chapter three
I was walking down the same street with the same hole in the block. I fell in again. I was angry. This place was a familiar. I knew my way out.
Chapter four
I was walking down the same street with the same hole. This time I crossed the street.
Chapter five
I walked down a different street.
Taking from the Book of ZIN
My 6 cents.
La'Mont G.
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